How will the escape begin?
A few years ago I wrote this onto the first page in my Bible. At the time I felt entangled in discouraging, defeating sin out of which I could not climb or struggle free. I also felt cut off, sitting on the cusp overlooking the next stage of my life, but powerless to join it or start it’s beginning. There was also my every day life that try my best I was only succeeding to show up for. So I took solace in work, the only thing that I felt I was doing well at and at all satisfied in. So I worked…a lot and not much else. Yet though seemingly hopeless I still believed every life to be/contain a great adventure, a story unique unto itself that each person can live out. A great adventure that my life felt totally without. Great tales and stories unfathomable, filled with mystery, and the next great surprise around the corner.
I wanted to know how it was that I would escape from my life to the great adventure that I knew from my very depths was waiting to begin. Every great fairy tale begins somewhere and every colossal story starts with something . So I wanted to know, to see that begning happen in my own life. When would I stop simply existing and become a character in my own saga.
And so it finally happened. Last september I was allowed/lifted up to breakthrough. I say allowed/lifted up because it was beyond my own strength. In my despair and helplessness my spirit cried out. First one week of freedom, then two, then four and the whole time peace that passes all understanding and uncontainable joy began building up and starting to overflow. The greatest story teller of all turned the first page and spoke the beginning word of my story…freedom. Freedom like I’d never known and had all but lost hope for long ago. Through this freedom He began pouring back in life, directing me to step out and take hold of the adventure I’d hoped for even at my own doorstep. Allowing me the opportunity to see what everyday life was like filled with wonder and excitement.
The escape began to true life in Christ, a renewal, a refreshing of his presence. Victory even through adversity, strength through trial. Finding it possible to be brutally honest and frank with God and also to seek what his plans for me might be. Wrestling with Him with questions about certain events and why they’ve unfolded as they have instead of according to my original designs or intentions. On our journey there are times when we just have to ask God, “hey what the crap?” To really lay it all out before him and see where he directs you and how he speaks to you. And through the most difficult situations he can lead to deeper contentment and surrender even though it may not seem possible. Honestly it just felt good to be open with him even if I was angry about something. Yelling at God may not be the most humble way to approach the throne, but at least there’s some sort of communication happening and you’re being open about things.
So there I was living again even after being run through the fire. Finding adventure in mundane surroundings, seeing a new side to things and at this point given the opportunity for a choice, a sort of choose your own adventure fork in the road. The opportunity to test out my nomadic wanderlust and see where it takes me. To take the adventure abroad and to travel just as everyone at some point dreams. To challenge myself in new unfamiliar settings. To see what a life of travel has to offer and if it’s something I’d like to do permanently. So there’s the why and how I was led to this point of traveling beardedness.
During my time abroad I’ve seen and experienced a lot of amazing things, I’ve met quite a few very cool people, and I’ve had plenty of time for introspection. While everyone said that my travels would change me forever and effect the way I think about everything, I think that the effect has been less dramatic. Having gone through quite a bit of change and life lessons in the last 5-8 years already I feel less radically changed by the trip and more solidified in who I was already. The better analogy would be to a Potter’s fire or kiln in which he puts his newly formed earthen vessel to set and temper its form, strengthening and preparing it for use.
Though my travels have been shorter then I had originally thought I’m ready to return. Being contented with my opportunities I begin the journey back home. Back to my friends and family in which I find my greatest enjoyment and the source of unending adventures.
To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter/purpose under heaven.
The travel wraps up, but the adventure continues. The begining of the next chapter is already here.